A piece of my story… part 1

I have failed, honestly I have failed a lot, I have a Masters Degree and a Doctorate in failing.  I have also succeeded a lot, done some pretty amazing, difficult and inspiring things. None of that makes a fuck of a difference at this moment.  Careers, Marriages, Relationships, Parenting, Friendships I’ve won some and lost some. I’ve had money and I’ve had no money. I’ve felt like I was on top of the world, and I’ve felt like the loneliest person on the planet. I’ve been held and loved by some of the worlds greatest people, and I’ve known the taste of tears mixed with the barrel of a gun in my mouth. I had an awesome career, and then lost an addict wife and in one moment was supposed to change and raise my precious, amazing, strong son on my own. I took a step back, and felt lost until a guy on Oprah gave me a hand through my tears at 4:00 AM. I’ve lost, and I’ve won and you know what none of that makes a fuck of a difference at this moment!
A mentor of mine from my upscale retail days taught me to always “Live in the moment, not in your head!” It takes a shit ton of practice, and sometimes it is downright impossible, but if you can keep trying you can see clearer than most people right now.
When anyone starts talking to me about the past, even just a few hours ago I always say the following “Hey, I missed breakfast two weeks ago, so me a favor and go back and make me breakfast!”  (My dearest friends know I am a complicated direct human, at times I lack a filter).  Your life, your mind, your attitude, your time has to start NOW!  You are finite, like it or not, it’s a problem you can’t solve.  So start changing NOW!  Change your thinking, change your attitude about yourself, focus on what matters and that is YOU!  You have to be the best YOU ever because you are the only one that can be!

Everywhere I looked in all my darkest and brightest hours, I found or was found by a helping hand, I hope that this will be that hand for someone else. You are important, you have a purpose, but it is not last week or 6 years ago, and it is not in 1,2 or 300 days, it is right now!
Learn and move forward, take pride in your failures equally as much as in your success. Share yourself with someone else, you never know what your one kind word or action can do to change a persons life! You are here in this moment and this is all you have, if you figure out how to build that time machine and go back two weeks to make my breakfast then I’ll have French toast and eggs, until then let go of who you were and focus on who you are and who you will become!

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